sojourner surfboards

Friday, November 5, 2010

going green 9 oh!

FAQ's about this recently picked vegetable

Q: so you say you are going green...what is is made out of?

A: the core is made from recycled cow patties...i am not positive on the process of recycling cow patties though. the board is sealed with petrified and elasticized rhinoceros snot (which is also recycled, by the way)

this is all fused together by a controlled radio active nuclear implosions which involves massive amounts of highly toxic and volatile chemicals...thus making a literal green product, not a "green" product.

Q: was this tested on animals?

A: yes of coarse. humans as well, but just babies though. due to their size, it is more cost effective for the amount of product that we need to use in testing

Q:how long has this board been in a coma?

A: i think you are thinking of the wrong type of vegetable.

Q: is this board a good nose rider?

A: i don't know, i've never seen it surf.

Q:What size should i order mine, compared to my regular shortboard?

A: Well, if your regular shortboard is 6' 0" and you want this 9' 0"...then i think you would probably want to add about 3 feet to your regular shortboard size. unless you are 900lbs. then...well, i don't really know what to suggest, maybe a SUP

Friday, October 29, 2010

my 57 asymmetrical surfboard, right big toe in front, left big eye in your head?

seeing how the thruster set performs with no offset of the side fins. single concave throughout...completely different outline for each side. 5'7" and 5' 4.5" ...if it rides like poo, a least the leash loop looks cool
FAQ
is it meant to go only one way?
no, it is designed to amplify the positive aspects of certain shapes and translate that into an electrifying, ecstatic and enlightening experience of great joy while surfing. it doesn't really do that unless you surf it, so getting it into the water will really help with the electrifying, ecstatic and enlightening part of the whole thing

does it go fast?
yes, faster than cheetahs can run...in a pool of slightly cooler than room temperature oatmeal

how does it turn?
have you ever seen those guys race motorcycle and the whip around corners and drag their knees on the ground...how the heck do they do that?

does it come with a lunch box?
only the models that are 13 foot or bigger

would you ever set it up with quad fins?
no, but i can sell you a fin and some super glue

prototype...lightest, fastest and strongest body surf equipment on the market

i took a few shots at different angles so you can really see how incredible this is. it weighs about the same as air...amazing, truly amazing

Friday, October 22, 2010

glass job... the 12'3" combine

hollow ribbed wood construction/built by jim the "kelp farmer"...glassed by sojourner
ibuprofen fee for lugging this thing around the shop...$35.95
i stood by it so you can get a perspective on how grotesquely large this thing is