FAQ's about this recently picked vegetable
Q: so you say you are going green...what is is made out of?
A: the core is made from recycled cow patties...i am not positive on the process of recycling cow patties though. the board is sealed with petrified and elasticized rhinoceros snot (which is also recycled, by the way)
this is all fused together by a controlled radio active nuclear implosions which involves massive amounts of highly toxic and volatile chemicals...thus making a literal green product, not a "green" product.
Q: was this tested on animals?
A: yes of coarse. humans as well, but just babies though. due to their size, it is more cost effective for the amount of product that we need to use in testing
Q:how long has this board been in a coma?
A: i think you are thinking of the wrong type of vegetable.
Q: is this board a good nose rider?
A: i don't know, i've never seen it surf.
Q:What size should i order mine, compared to my regular shortboard?
A: Well, if your regular shortboard is 6' 0" and you want this 9' 0"...then i think you would probably want to add about 3 feet to your regular shortboard size. unless you are 900lbs. then...well, i don't really know what to suggest, maybe a SUP
